Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places

My daughter and I had a bizarre experience at Walmart this weekend. Normally, because we have a long list and two baskets full of groceries to buy each week, my daughter and I split the list to try to get done a little faster. Well, she had gone to pick up some cokes, but she very quickly found me again and said, "Mom, some guy kept trying to find out my name! I'm staying with you for the rest of the trip." Well, we laughed about it, and went on our way. A few minutes later, I remembered that I wanted to pick up a booster seat for my baby while I was there. Now this is in a totally different area of the store. I didn't think for a minute that a single guy looking for a date would be hanging out in the baby section amongst the car seats and potty training devices, so I talked her into going to see if she could find what I needed. She hadn't been gone but a few minutes when my cell phone started ringing. It was my daughter. "Mom, he's over here! He tried again to talk to me, but I picked up my phone and called you. I'm coming back to you right now!" Now, this was getting a little eerie. This guy was REALLY trying hard. She got back to me pretty quickly, and we both agreed she needed to stick with me for the rest of the shopping trip. As we got back to our groceries, she whispered under her breath, "There he is again!" Sure enough, across the aisle was a young Mexican man with a blue jean shirt and a bright orange cap pretending he was looking for something, but all the while stealing furtive glances at my daughter. We moved along to the next aisle, and again, here came the orange cap. We tried skipping an aisle. He skipped an aisle. No matter where we moved, he moved along with us. I couldn't believe it. We were being stalked! This went on for the entire grocery trip. He didn't have a basket; he never bought a thing, but wherever we went from the dairy products to the kitty litter, he was right down the aisle from us. Finally, he got more bold. Instead of staying across the aisle, he began to walk along behind us on the same aisle. He would always carefully inspect the items on the shelves, but never pick up anything to buy. When we moved along, he would too. Looking back, we should have gone to the feminine products. That might have been humorous to see him checking out the sale price of tampons! My husband called me about this point, and I told him what was going on. He suggested that I call a security guard. At this point, I hated to do that, because he really hadn't done anything to us... he just had an affinity for whatever items were on the aisle we happened to be shopping on. I was afraid I would sound silly saying, "He's looking at us!" Well, to make a long story short, we wrapped things up quickly and headed straight for the check out line. I called my husband to let him know we were finally getting out of there, when who should appear right behind me in line (with nothing in his hands to buy, I might add) but Mr. Orange Cap himself. He waited as long as he could as I chatted to my husband, but finally he could stand it no longer. "Excuse me, ma'am, what is her name?" he asked, pointing at my daughter. I explained to him that I would not give him her name, and even though he asked a second time, I told him in no uncertain terms that she was not available. He looked at her and said, "She is so beautiful! Please tell her I think she is beautiful!" I guess he realized at this point that Momma Bear wasn't going to let him speak with her cub, so he finally gave up and went on his way. We got out of there as quickly as we could, scouring the parking lot for orange caps, and drove away. After several evasive maneuvers on the way home to make sure we weren't being followed, we were thankful to arrive home safe and sound. I think the whole thing rattled both of us, but the more we thought about it, the funnier it got. What was going on in his mind? Did he really think that this episode was going to have a happy ending? Was he really going to find love at Walmart?

Orange Cap: "Pssst, excuse me, what is your name?"
My Daughter: "Sally"* (*name is changed to protect the innocent!)
OC: "You are beautiful! Will you go out with me?"
MD: "Why sure, my parents would have no problem with me giving my phone number to a complete stranger who barely speaks English that I met at Walmart!"
OC: "I know we will be happy together. You know, I am only here for a short while on a work visa."
MD: "Oh, that's alright! I've always wanted to live in another country!"

OR...maybe he noticed that he was rebuffed TWICE by this beautiful young lady, but he thought if he could just win over the mother...he would gain the daughter's affections...

OC: "Excuse me, Ma'am, what is your daughter's name?"
Me: "Well, I know you are a complete stranger, and my daughter is only 16...and you look about 20, but we have always hoped she would find a mature man to marry, so what the heck....her name is Sally*"
OC: "You're daughter is very beautiful, please tell her I said she is beautiful"
(...at this point, my daughter looks at him with a tear glistening on her cheek:)
MD: "He thinks I'm beautiful, Mom! Imagine what he would think of me if I had my makeup on and I was wearing something other than the tee shirt and shorts that I slept in last night!"
Me: "I agree, honey, he's a keeper!"
OC: "By the way, Ma'am, I am here for only a short time on a work visa"
MD: "Oh, that's okay! Her Dad will be just THRILLED when I tell him that we gave her name and number to a complete stranger at Walmart, and on top of that...he may take her off to Mexico with him to live happily ever after!"

Funny, huh? Okay, so I guess the moral of this story is "don't look for love in a discount store...because you'll probably get what you paid for."